Of Love and Loss
by Gemm
Summary: Remus Lupin has much more than platonic feelings for his longtime friend Tria Jennings, so when he goes to meet her after years of separation, he's in for a surprise...  AU .


**SUMMARY: Remus Lupin has far more than platonic feelings for his longtime friend Tria Jennings, so when he goes to meet her after years of separation, he's in for a surprise...**

**Rating: G, or PG, for safety in case something isn't what I thought it was.**

**GN: Hi all, I should be working on revising Flashbacks of Remus Lupin and Memory, but I was distracted and after an hour or so of consideration and writing, this is what I came up with. Be happy, sort of, because I really love this fic. Truth is, this had been bouncing around in my head for quite some time, and I really wanted to write a song fic. So, here it is. Oh, italics are the lyrics.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT, repeat DO NOT, own Harry Potter, or the song Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional. I merely take the liberty of exercising my imagination and creativity in combining the two. Please, don't sue me and murder me in my sleep. **

* * *

_**Vindicated**_  
**_written by Gemm  
July 2007_**

_'Hope dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption  
Winding in and winding out  
The shine of which had caught my eye...'_

He made his way to the small cottage in a secluded area of Godric's Hollow. He knew that it was mostly futile, but Remus was determined to have a talk with the girl he was head-over-heels for, Tria Jennings. It hurt to hope that anything could have come from their relationship, but after Lily Evans---no, _Potter_ now---had informed him that Tria had feelings for him all through school and beyond, he couldn't bring himself not to.

_'And roped me in  
So mesmerizing so hypnotizing  
I am captivated...'_

He stepped onto the veranda, smiling at the decor of the house. It was a soft shade of grey-blue, and was reminded of happier times in Hogwarts, when the two had been closer than even Lily and James. Somehow, their relationship as a couple never made it off the ground, mostly because Remus couldn't bear for Tria to leave him after she found out about his...dilemma.

There were flowers; Petunias, Violets, Forget-Me-Not, Marigolds, Sunflowers, Daisies and fiery Tiger Lilies. The house was covered in them.  
_  
'I am vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
I swear I knew it all along  
And I am flawed  
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things  
You swore you saw yourself...'_

He made to knock on the screen door, but heard laughter from inside. Tria's and...another man's. Remus watched through the picture window as Tria was chased into the room by another, significant other. Dimly, he recognized the man as an Auror for the Ministry. A flash of bright light caught his eye and Remus spied a ring on Tria's left hand ring finger.

_'So clear like the diamond in your ring  
Cut to mirror your intentions  
Oversized and overwhelmed  
The shine of which has caught my eye...'_

Blanching, he retracted the hand that had been about to knock. It was futile now, and he couldn't believe that Lily had neglected to inform him of this very large detail. _But they've been in Hiding for almost two months, so how could she have known?_

All the same, he felt betrayed. This was a little much to be swallowing at the moment. At that moment, the door opened and showed a smiling Tria calling over her shoulder a farewell to her fiancée.

_'And rendered me so isolated so motivated  
I am certain now that_...'

"Oh, Remus," she sounded shocked as she spotted him near the steps. "How are you?"

"Fine," he managed without looking Tria in the eye. "Just fine. You?"

Tria noticed that Remus' answers were very forced. "Peachy keen. Have you met Danny?"

Remus looked up at the man who had come over to the door to observe the commotion. He was quite tall, with dark hair and blue eyes. Remus felt distinctly uncomfortable with the situation.

"No, I haven't. Remus Lupin," he offered a hand. There was, after all, no need to be rude to the man who had stolen the heart of the only girl he had ever, and probably would ever love. "I'm a friend of Tria's from school."  
_  
'I am vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
I swear I knew it all along  
And I am flawed  
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things  
You swore you saw yourself..._'

"Dan Taylor," he smiled, shaking it. "Pleased to meet you."

Remus nodded in reply. After an awkward moment of silence, he turned to Tria. "It was good seeing you again, Tria. I really must be going. The house looks nice, though."

Tria looked slightly downcast, as though she knew what he felt. "Don't go yet, Remus," she protested slightly.

"I really have to get going. I promised Lily and James and little Harry that I'd stop by before dinner."

"How are they?" Tria asked in earnest. "I haven't seen Harry since he was born. Some friend I am, eh?"

Remus smiled at the memory her last question indicated. "It's okay, only a few people know where they are, now. They went into Hiding. Harry's getting bigger every day, and looks eerily like James, but with Lily's eyes."

_ 'So turn up the corners of your lips  
Part them and feel my finger tips  
Trace the moment, fall forever  
Defense is paper thin...'_

They maintained small talk for a moment, before Tria asked a bomb question. "Do you think I could see them at all?"

Remus looked up at her, remorse painfully evident in his eyes. "I suppose so, but you can't tell anyone where they are, or..."

Tria nodded and gave Dan a kiss on the cheek. "I won't be gone long, Dan."  
_  
'Just one touch and I'd be in  
Too deep now to ever swim against the current  
So let me slip away  
So let me slip away  
So let me slip away...'_

When they arrived at the Potter residence, Tria smiled and looked at Remus.

"I'm sorry that you found out about me and Dan this way," she started.

"Don't be, Tria," Remus interrupted. "It's perfectly alright that you found someone you love and want to marry."

He walked away into the house, said hello to James and Lily and Harry and quickly disapparated, muttering some excuse about Sirius and a job.

Tria watched him go, more saddened than she had been in months. "But that's the thing," she whispered to no one in particular. "I don't know if I do love him..."  
_  
'So let me slip against the current  
So let me slip away  
So let me slip away  
So let me slip away  
So let me slip away...'_

Several weeks later, Tria Jennings became Mrs. Daniel Taylor. Remus didn't come to the wedding, but heard that it was a lovely ceremony. He knew that he should be happy for his longtime friend and secret love, but he couldn't bring himself to be so.

Sirius finally cornered him one day, demanding to know what was up with Remus and his constant depression. "It's driving me bonkers, knowing that you aren't happy with your life when you should be!"

_'I am vindicated  
I am selfish  
I am wrong  
I am right  
I swear I'm right  
I swear I knew it all along  
And I am flawed  
But I am cleaning up so well  
I am seeing in me now the things  
You swore you saw yourself...'_

Several months later, Remus had learned to deal with heartbreak and Lily and James had effectively gone into real hiding, by Disappearing. No one, save Sirius knew where they were. It was a shock to learn then that Tria Jennings-Taylor had applied for a Wizarding divorce, as well as a Muggle one.

"She did?" was all he asked Sirius when Remus was informed.

"Yeah..." Sirius answered, slightly taken aback by Remus' expression. "Is that a good thing?"

"You have no idea," Remus told him. "Sirius, I love her to pieces. I just..."

"Don't want her to get hurt," Sirius told him. "I get it."

_'Slight hope dangles on a string  
Like slow spinning redemption...'_

It was then that several weeks later, after Remus and Tria had reconciled their relationship and had taken it to the next level that Tria was tortured and killed by Death Eaters, Lily and James Potter were killed by Voldemort who was in turn, demolished by baby Harry Potter, Peter Pettigrew had been obliterated and Sirius Black had been convicted as a Murderer and Traitor, and sent to Azkaban.

Remus was utterly and completely alone, and for one time in his life, there was no hope.


End file.
